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Exposition III

by Nova Charisma

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1.
Sentiment sediment Along the skin. Batter it. Better it. Stain the canvas razor thin Open it, open it I didn’t look. I never noticed. Better now, huh? Better? No. A leisured lesion bleeds. So... Hey there are the scars I see self - inflicted? Do you carve yourself to be vindictive? Forbidden sleeves in the summer Cover the marks therapy invokes Spar with the wrist like an alpha Pressure to know the shame stuck in your throat Yeah Your eyes are dark and dangerous And now I notice that you’re wanting to erase yourself I think I know but ask myself still.. Hey there are the scars I see self - inflicted? Do you carve yourself to be vindictive? And I wonder how you could do it... Does the laceration free the rot within? I’m dying to view again I’m dying to be let in I’m dying to understand. I want to see the greater cause. The way you cope will leave a mark. Hey there are the scars I see self - inflicted? Do you carve yourself to be vindictive? And I wonder how you could do it...
2.
Count down 'til I bleed out Eden isn’t real, it’ll never have appeal The window in my room Beckons me to jump, I back up, and I give it what I’ve got. Now I want to be living painfully. When I hurt the worst I create the most. Take my happiness and I will write an anthem Take my pettiness and I will lose direction Red on my arms and my torso. Sitting up, I look around. Why is air still in my lungs? This poem will never be Everything I want, full of rampant mental block I guess I’ll take it still If I have to own the dark, break the bulb on idealistic hearts. Now I want to be living painfully. When I hurt the worst I create the most. Take my happiness and I will write an anthem Take my pettiness and I will lose direction No this poem will never be exactly what I want so break the bulb around me Now I want to be living painfully. When I hurt the worst I create the most. Take my happiness and I will write an anthem Take my pettiness and I will lose direction
3.
There are days I want to burn every bridge. Drive off the shoulder into an abyss. Still my heart won’t let me It wants to live But for the record I don’t trust it. Who should be the bigger person? What have we been taught? Those who settle at the bottom Never see the top. I’ll stay ‘til I get All that I want; that I feel I deserve. And I won’t forget who was there in the process, And who got in the way. The losses curb the process and unfold. One thing leads to something, never nothing, that’s the goal. But my heart is pounding It wants to live And for the record I must trust it. I’ll stay ‘til I get All that I want; that I feel I deserve. And I won’t forget who was there in the process, And who got in the way. Float up. Stay there. She said she'd stay close Tied up timezones. She gave me the most. I only know the story of what has led up to now. How far out is the ending... Where are we now? So I’ll stay 'til I get All that I want that I feel I deserve And I won’t forget Everything in the process. So I’ll stay til I get All that I want; that I need that I crave. And I won’t forget Who was there in the process And who got in the way. We all turn the page.

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released April 30, 2020

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Nova Charisma Los Angeles, California

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